Yesterday afternoon, while e-mailing back and forth with Jen (to make the day go by faster, of course), I was reminded of what great memories I have of my prom and homecoming experiences from high school. Please don't misunderstand me. I went with the people that I wanted to go with, but other surrounding circumstances didn't make for as magical an evening as I had envisioned.
I was asked to prom my sophomore year by a senior who used to "keep me company" while I waited for my mom to pick me up from school every day. When he asked me, he said it so non-chalantly that I looked at him, made a face that probably said "What kind of crack are you smoking?" and said "No!" without even hesitating. I really thought that he was just joking around, but I was wrong. Regardless, I didn't go with him and I think he also stopped stalking me after school because of it.
My junior year, I was finally asked to homecoming by a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed surfer boy that (practically) the entire female population of SHS was lusting after. At the time, I thought he was pretty hot myself, though I don't think that I was all that into him. I like to think I was just testing the waters to see if I could land a date with someone way out of my league. After much negotiation performed by a mutual friend, he finally got the balls to ask me. Why he took so long, I'll never know. Obviously I said yes and we went with Jen, her date, and Michelle.
We had a decent time and I have pretty pictures to laugh at now, but I don't remember too much about the evening anymore. I do, however, remember that I was starving after getting my hair done and ate a Big Mac late in the afternoon. This resulted in me not being all that hungry when we went to dinner, so I probably only ate one quarter of the dinner that he paid for. I also remember him being mad at his mom because he wanted to drive her nice, newer model Camry, but she made him take their older car with an air conditioner barely worked. And when we got home after the dance, we opened the door and my parents, aunt and cousin started yelling "Wet paint! Wet paint! Be careful!" They decided to paint the foyer while we were gone.
Something happened to me between my junior and senior years. I was no longer capable of landing the hottest guys in school and was left to fish in the band pond. Don't get me wrong, I dated the head bandy - the drum major. (Go big or go home, right?) He was nice enough, I guess, and it took little convincing to get this guy to ask me to homecoming. We had a decent time and started dating shortly after homecoming (and when his Mono cleared up.) Sometime between Valentine's Day and prom, he broke up with me. Yes, folks, I got dumped. Via instant messenger, too!
He was such a winner, though, that he asked me to prom even though we were no longer dating. I only said yes after one other person (that I definitely didn't want to go with) asked me and my dad gave me a really hard time about how I'd "regret it" if I didn't go to my senior prom. So several days after the initial invitation, I agreed. That, my friends, is when the real shenanigans ensued.
He asked what color my dress was so that he could match, or so I thought. When I said gold, he decided he wanted to wear something silver. When he asked where we should go for dinner, I suggested a seafood restaurant in Cocoa Beach on the river. He simply said "No." I wanted to scream "Well why did you even ask, then?!" We ended up going to an Italian restaurant where our server scrawled her name upside down, in crayon, on the butcher paper that served as our table cloth. There were little kids running around in shorts and t-shirts. While eating dinner, he suggested that we go bowling before going to the actual dance. He said it kind of sarcastically and as though he were testing me somehow, so I just said "I'll bowl in this dress. And I'll win, too." So we did. And I did.
The real kicker was his getup. I was slightly annoyed that he had no interest in renting a tux because that's generally what people do for prom, if not a nice suit. He was having no part of that, despite my not-so-subtle hints and enlisting the help of one of his friends. He arrived in black pants and a black coat with shirt on that was half white and half black. The piece of fabric behind the buttons was some weird pattern, too. But that wasn't even the worst part. The absolute worst part was the white top hat that he decided to wear. Without any mention of it to me beforehand, mind you. My dad still laughs nervously when we talk about this. And all he can say is "She was pissed. I didn't even know what to do about it."
To this day, I wonder if he purposely left my corsage at his parents' house so that we'd have to go by their house to pick it up and they could see, with their own eyes, how badly he was torturing me. He later told me that he looked for white cane, but couldn't find one. I told him that it was a good thing because I would've sent his happy behind home. Alone.
Anyway... All of this was brought up yesterday when Jen and I were discussing how great I have it now. Of course, The Boyfriend always thanks me for "setting the bar so low" for him. As if I did it on purpse. Clearly, I didn't, but I do have a better appreciation for him because of all the winners that came before him.
Jen summed it up pretty well by saying, "It's going to take a lot to recover from the top hat and tails debacle of 2000, but if anyone can bring about redemption, it's the Double R."
I'm pretty sure he already brought it. On our first date. It wasn't that difficult to do.
I was asked to prom my sophomore year by a senior who used to "keep me company" while I waited for my mom to pick me up from school every day. When he asked me, he said it so non-chalantly that I looked at him, made a face that probably said "What kind of crack are you smoking?" and said "No!" without even hesitating. I really thought that he was just joking around, but I was wrong. Regardless, I didn't go with him and I think he also stopped stalking me after school because of it.
My junior year, I was finally asked to homecoming by a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed surfer boy that (practically) the entire female population of SHS was lusting after. At the time, I thought he was pretty hot myself, though I don't think that I was all that into him. I like to think I was just testing the waters to see if I could land a date with someone way out of my league. After much negotiation performed by a mutual friend, he finally got the balls to ask me. Why he took so long, I'll never know. Obviously I said yes and we went with Jen, her date, and Michelle.
We had a decent time and I have pretty pictures to laugh at now, but I don't remember too much about the evening anymore. I do, however, remember that I was starving after getting my hair done and ate a Big Mac late in the afternoon. This resulted in me not being all that hungry when we went to dinner, so I probably only ate one quarter of the dinner that he paid for. I also remember him being mad at his mom because he wanted to drive her nice, newer model Camry, but she made him take their older car with an air conditioner barely worked. And when we got home after the dance, we opened the door and my parents, aunt and cousin started yelling "Wet paint! Wet paint! Be careful!" They decided to paint the foyer while we were gone.
Something happened to me between my junior and senior years. I was no longer capable of landing the hottest guys in school and was left to fish in the band pond. Don't get me wrong, I dated the head bandy - the drum major. (Go big or go home, right?) He was nice enough, I guess, and it took little convincing to get this guy to ask me to homecoming. We had a decent time and started dating shortly after homecoming (and when his Mono cleared up.) Sometime between Valentine's Day and prom, he broke up with me. Yes, folks, I got dumped. Via instant messenger, too!
He was such a winner, though, that he asked me to prom even though we were no longer dating. I only said yes after one other person (that I definitely didn't want to go with) asked me and my dad gave me a really hard time about how I'd "regret it" if I didn't go to my senior prom. So several days after the initial invitation, I agreed. That, my friends, is when the real shenanigans ensued.
He asked what color my dress was so that he could match, or so I thought. When I said gold, he decided he wanted to wear something silver. When he asked where we should go for dinner, I suggested a seafood restaurant in Cocoa Beach on the river. He simply said "No." I wanted to scream "Well why did you even ask, then?!" We ended up going to an Italian restaurant where our server scrawled her name upside down, in crayon, on the butcher paper that served as our table cloth. There were little kids running around in shorts and t-shirts. While eating dinner, he suggested that we go bowling before going to the actual dance. He said it kind of sarcastically and as though he were testing me somehow, so I just said "I'll bowl in this dress. And I'll win, too." So we did. And I did.
The real kicker was his getup. I was slightly annoyed that he had no interest in renting a tux because that's generally what people do for prom, if not a nice suit. He was having no part of that, despite my not-so-subtle hints and enlisting the help of one of his friends. He arrived in black pants and a black coat with shirt on that was half white and half black. The piece of fabric behind the buttons was some weird pattern, too. But that wasn't even the worst part. The absolute worst part was the white top hat that he decided to wear. Without any mention of it to me beforehand, mind you. My dad still laughs nervously when we talk about this. And all he can say is "She was pissed. I didn't even know what to do about it."
To this day, I wonder if he purposely left my corsage at his parents' house so that we'd have to go by their house to pick it up and they could see, with their own eyes, how badly he was torturing me. He later told me that he looked for white cane, but couldn't find one. I told him that it was a good thing because I would've sent his happy behind home. Alone.
Anyway... All of this was brought up yesterday when Jen and I were discussing how great I have it now. Of course, The Boyfriend always thanks me for "setting the bar so low" for him. As if I did it on purpse. Clearly, I didn't, but I do have a better appreciation for him because of all the winners that came before him.
Jen summed it up pretty well by saying, "It's going to take a lot to recover from the top hat and tails debacle of 2000, but if anyone can bring about redemption, it's the Double R."
I'm pretty sure he already brought it. On our first date. It wasn't that difficult to do.
2 comments:
So, that's a "no" to coming off the plane in a top hat and cane I guess. Hmm, I wonder if I can still get that deposit back.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if your prom date would've shown up with a white cane to complete his hideous ensemble, you wouldn't have just 'sent his happy behind home', as you said. The cane would've been up his happy behind.
At least you didn't go to the prom with little Hitler. ;-)
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