Saturday, June 25, 2011

Finally! Sort of...

Finally meaning a couple of different things... one being that I'm FINALLY posting again. The other being that I FINALLY got a job.

I haven't had much to write about, at least that I wanted to put out there for just anyone to read. I still write in my journal every day and sometimes it seems that's about I'm good for. I'm also self-conscious about what I post on here. After I click publish, I start thinking that someone is reading it, scrutinizing every word and thinking "Why would she write that?!" At the same time, I own it and about ten minutes later, I'm over it.

The end of last year and beginning of this year brought some interesting challenges for me and a few members of my extended family. Five (specific) members of my family, including myself, found ourselves unemployed and unsure of what the heck was happening in our lives. I, thankfully, was probably in the best position of all, if there is such a thing, where I could move back home and regroup. For the others, it was a more urgent matter to find work and, as such, our family as a whole - my parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - set our concerns on them. We prayed for them, fasted, and kept our eyes and ears open for potential opportunities. Perhaps our being on the outside of their circumstances allowed us to have extra faith in their behalf.

For me, I wasn't all that worried about finding a job. I did a few contracted jobs here and there, babysat, and helped my dad in his business. During that time, I looked for a job, but perhaps not with the intensity of someone who would be out on the street in a matter of weeks if I didn't land something. For that alone, I am grateful. And I can't help but to have seen how the timing of everything worked out so well.

As of this past week, four of the five of us have found jobs and it's looking pretty good for the last. Maybe it wasn't as soon as we wanted to be employed, but employed we are. And that is a huge blessing. Enormous.

When I found out that everything came together for most everyone within a matter of days, I was amazed. I couldn't help but see the hand of the Lord in this trial that we've all been going through, separately, yet together. When I first found out that my company would be closing, I was sure that I'd have a job before my actual last day, I'd start it as soon as possible and would never have to attempt to collect unemployment. I was completely averse to it. Clearly that was not the way that things worked out, hence not what the Lord had in mind. That I know for sure. Instead, He had other plans for me that I can clearly see and will continue to see the benefit of this period as time continues to pass.

To list all the things that I was able to do over the last five months would take way too much time, but they have not gone unnoticed. And while I wasn't expecting to get a job here and continue to live with my parents, that's exactly what I'll be doing. I've even got a little plan to maximize the benefits of living at home. This all further proves that what I want and think is best for me isn't always what the Lord has in mind and, ultimately, He's in charge here. If I would only learn to really turn things over to him, I might be better off. I do know that as long as I'm doing the very best that I can and am capable of, things will be just fine. I guess I just need the reminder.

Interestingly enough, I just saw a link to this article. It fits perfectly with what I'm talking about, though it clearly written much more eloquently. I especially love how it talks about trials being the Lord's way of telling you that you're prepared to grow more and that Heavenly Father and the Savior love us perfectly and "would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love." So true, yet so hard to always remember.

I'm certainly not saying "Trial over! I'm home free for a while now!" For all I know, I could be getting ready to take on something even bigger. Gosh, I hope not.


Reagan said...

So glad things are looking up! :) It's funny how we make these "plans" but His plan is different and better.

Melissa said...

Hey Lady, I had to resort to your blog to see what in the world you are up to. I fully expected to be seeing you at our sculpting class when I got home from Utah. We miss you lady! But great news with the job! Glad to hear it. Drop by the primary now and then to say hi would ya? We don't get to sneak away very often.