Monday, March 22, 2010

E-mail Fail

Mondays are a big deal in my family. It's the one day that we get to hear from my brother. I've gotten myself into a pretty good routine when it comes to writing him. I hand-write him a letter on Sundays (occassionally it doesn't happen until later in the week, but I've done really well the past few months) and on Mondays, when I get to work, I e-mail him. Every week.

Today was no different, even though I'm pretty busy at work right now. I could've e-mailed him last night when I got home, but it was late and I had just finished the hand-written letter and felt like I'd end up writing about the same things. So I waited and just did my normal thing.

I got to work, wrote the e-mail, and clicked send. I patiently waited until the afternoon and periodically checked my e-mail to see if I'd gotten a response. When I noticed that I had one, I decided that I'd wait until I got home to read it. I just wanted to build the suspense a little. I like to do that to myself from time to time.

I got home a little while ago and opened my e-mail only to see in the first line of Coley's e-mail that he didn't receive an e-mail from me this week. I almost started crying right then. I didn't even read any further, I just went to my sent and draft folders to see what the problem was. I know that I wrote it, but at that moment I couldn't even remember what I had written!

I still don't know what happened, but what I do know is that AOL is on notice. This better NEVER happen again. I'm hoping that it's just floating around in cyberspace and gets pushed through eventually. I doubt that it's going to happen, but one can hope, right? To be honest, part of my anger is because it really messes up the book that I'm making for him. I mean, now an entire e-mail that I wrote intentionally is lost and I had to attempt to re-create it. It's like it's no longer genuine. I mean, I'll get over it. Maybe. But not today.

And if you're wondering, yes, I did cry. Right after I re-wrote him. I know he doesn't feel this way, but I feel like I let him down. Maybe this is what I get for making fun of my parents all those months ago for not sending him anything. They didn't do it intentionally, they just both thought the other had written him and it turns out that neither of them had a chance. My mom was a wreck for weeks. That'll probably be me this week.

P.S. I should also probably get out of the habit of even thinking the phrase "this is what I get for..." It's not healthy.

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